Cemetery Dance<\/em> #23 (1996).<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\nI also got some comments from reader \u201cplhollingsworth\u201d and reader \u201cJerry,\u201d both of whom expressed the desire to get a heads-up about next month\u2019s stories so they could make the attempt to read along with me (see people\u2026 I really do pay attention). <\/span><\/p>\nWith that in mind, I\u2019ll henceforth conclude each <\/span>Exhumed<\/span><\/i> post with the following month\u2019s planned stories. <\/span><\/p>\nBut before we jump in this month, you need to know this is the first of what I hope to be many Issue-Concluding posts. Yep. That\u2019s right. This month I\u2019ll be reviewing the 12th <\/span>and final<\/span> story in Cemetery Dance<\/em><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/i>#1<\/span>. This gives me the opportunity to take a step back and look at the premier issue as a whole. I\u2019ll squeak that bonus review in between the two stories. <\/span><\/p>\nAlrighty then, let\u2019s see how this final story in Cemetery Dance<\/em>\u2019s premier issue stacks up to its 11 predecessors\u2026 and just one of the 548 that have come after it…<\/span><\/p>\nTHE OLD: \u201cThe Hounds of Hell to Pay\u201d<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cemeterydance.com\/extras\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/CD1Cover.jpg?resize=264%2C350&ssl=1\")
AUTHOR:<\/b> David A. Lindschmidt<\/span><\/p>\nAPPEARANCE:<\/b> Cemetery Dance<\/em> #1 (December, 1988) (story #12 of 12)<\/span><\/p>\nPLOT (with spoilers!):\u00a0<\/b>Felix checks the door to make sure he\u2019s alone, kneels down, whispers to the floor, and \u201cshe\u201d immediately arrives. She is both slightly hurt and slightly bothered. Felix tell her he \u201cneeds more!\u201d and remembers how good it had been the last time. <\/span><\/p>\nShe tells him she\u2019s surprised he needs it again so soon. She makes no sound as she moves. Felix pleads that the other didn\u2019t last, that she cannot deny him, that he\u2019d made a deal. <\/span><\/p>\nWe are told he had been willing to sacrifice \u201chis possessions, his life, even more to satisfy his craving\u201d and to reach his dreams and goals. <\/span><\/p>\nShe is pleased that he remembers their deal and produces \u201cthe rig\u201d while reminding him this time will use up the last of his credit. Felix eyes her curves, her flesh, her leather boots, and the silver pentagram on her jeweled belt. He tells her he understands. <\/span><\/p>\nShe makes a production of finding a vein in his arm and shoots him \u201cfull of chemical bliss\u201d before leaving. <\/span><\/p>\nFelix doesn\u2019t leave his room for several days, though he isn\u2019t missed in that time. The world, we are told, is one of bloated, selfish populations. Police and schools are corrupt and\/or incompetent. Buildings burn unchecked. Felix, meanwhile, drools and imagines, a \u201cslave to rampant desire.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\nSome time later Felix\u2019s dreams have begun to fade and blur. One night he wakes feeling the desire again. The sky outside is purple and black, \u201cthe deep colors of hurt.\u201d He calls to her again. <\/span><\/p>\nShe appears instantly once more, a malicous grin on her face this time. Felix is sickened but cannot help himself. He curls into a ball on the floor, ashamed but unable to hide the truth. He confesses aloud: \u201cI hurt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\nShe tells him she can heal him, but first he must answer his end of their bargain. <\/span><\/p>\nFelix begs for more time. <\/span><\/p>\nShe pulls aside the heavy curtains, peers outside, and tells him there is none left. <\/span><\/p>\nKnowing he is beaten, Felix puts on a satin robe and leaves the room. She follows, and he knows she will not be seen. He passes \u201cportraits of solemn faces\u201d which haunt him in \u201cthe once plush corridor.\u201d He inserts a key into a huge door and opens it. He punches secret numbers into a computer terminal. He hand stops on a button. <\/span><\/p>\nShe smiles faintly like \u201ca contented leer of a whore.\u201d They are in a room shaped like an egg, though \u201cno one had ever thought it would hatch all hell itself.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\nFelix pushes the red button and lays his arm on the desk, waiting. <\/span><\/p>\nA large man in a uniform from days gone by—days \u201cfrom a more honorable time\u201d—rushes in and asks, \u201cIs there a problem, Mr. President?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\nBut there is no problem because the hounds of hell had been paid. <\/span><\/p>\nMY GRADE: A-<\/b><\/p>\n
MY REVIEW:\u00a0<\/b>Whoa. That ending, right? Did you see it coming? I didn\u2019t. Upon a second reading I realize I even missed the little \u201croom shaped like and egg\u201d clue the first go-around. <\/span><\/p>\nWhat strikes me most about this one is how easily we are led to believe Felix is a typical low-life druggie. Yes, we are distracted by the question of whether the mysterious woman is real or just in his imagination (and I\u2019ll get to that soon enough), but if you read it again (and I assure you I\u2019ve left out not a single identifying detail to the contrary), you\u2019ll see Lindschmidt never showed us Felix being poor, living in a ghetto, or even being of no consequence. <\/span><\/p>\nThe closest he gets is to tell us that when Felix stays in his room for several days that the world doesn\u2019t miss him. But while we assumed this was because Felix was a nobody, when we read that paragraph again we see that it is the “world” which is described as lacking (those \u201cbloated, selfish populations\u201d), not Felix. His all-important stature as president isn\u2019t noticed simply because the people no longer care to pay attention. <\/span><\/p>\nWhich is why the ending is so much fun. <\/span><\/p>\nDid you notice the man who rushes in to check on Felix? The one wearing a uniform \u201cfrom a more honorable time\u201d? This government employee—likely either a bodyguard or (a bit more of a stretch but still plausible) a high-ranking military official—is all that remains of what was once order and honor in the nation. He still wears his uniform. He comes immediately with genuine concern for the welfare of the president when strife (the pushing of the red button) has occurred. We get the distinct feeling that when he looks out the window he sees skies of blue and white rather than purple and black\u2026 the colors of a bruise\u2026 and quite possibly the colors after a nuclear holocaust. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nNow let\u2019s go back to that aforementioned ambiguity\u2026does all of this really happen, or is it all in Felix\u2019s head? <\/span><\/p>\nStrangely enough, there is little evidence in the story itself to lean us one way or the other, and as such the far more interesting questions isn\u2019t <\/span>Whether-or-not-it\u2019s-all-real<\/span><\/i> but <\/span>Exactly-what-kind-of-reality-could-we-be-reading?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\nSee, there are multiple interpretations to what could even be considered \u201creal\u201d… <\/span><\/p>\nINTERPRETATION #1: Maybe Felix sold his actual soul to the actual devil in exchange for the power of the actual presidency. Maybe we are seeing the devil finally come to take her payment years later. If so, at the end when he pushes that red button and (we can safely assume) launches nuclear war, does Felix live or die? <\/span><\/p>\nIf he dies, it is from nuclear fallout? (Where do those bombs land? What retaliation will go unchecked with the president laying there unconscious?)<\/span><\/p>\nOr is his death simply the she-devil killing him now that his usefulness is used up. (The \u201chounds of hell\u201d—aka: the launching of nuclear bombs—have now been paid, after all.)<\/span><\/p>\nAnd if he lives instead, is he merely laying there awaiting his next big \u201chigh\u201d… which is to watch the results of the massive power he has unleashed? After all, Power Corrupts, and Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely, right? <\/span><\/p>\nINTERPRETATION #2: Maybe Felix is NOT the president at all and just a regular guy. Maybe his selling of his actual soul to the actual devil was in exchange for delusions of grandeur so powerful that he merely *thinks* he\u2019s the president. <\/span><\/p>\nIf so, once again does he live or die? <\/span><\/p>\nAnd if it\u2019s death, is it suicide, or an accident, or the price that the she-devil demands? <\/span><\/p>\nOr how about this\u2026 maybe the pushing of the red button (much like seeing the black and purple skies outside) signifies Felix\u2019s acknowledgment of the hurt he is feeling\u2026 and\/or the hurt he has caused. <\/span><\/p>\nMaybe Felix goes willing to hell with the devil, realizing only too late that his drug-addicted life was ultimately a life wasted. <\/span><\/p>\nINTERPRETATION #3: Maybe there is no devil and Felix earned the presidency all on his own. Maybe the immense stresses of the job are manifesting in his mind as a she-devil administering drugs. Maybe the black and purple skies are his daily torment. <\/span><\/p>\nAnd maybe he doesn\u2019t die at the end. Maybe he just quits. Resigns. Passes the buck to his VP and hopes to move on to a shamed retirement without such awesome responsibilities. <\/span><\/p>\nMaybe the story is all about Felix learning he wasn\u2019t prepared for this job after all. <\/span><\/p>\nOr maybe the entire tale is a single, long, drug-induced hallucination and he\u2019ll be fine and back on the job tomorrow, none the worse for wear after the inevitable massive hangover wears off. <\/span><\/p>\nMaybe the story is really just a metaphor for the pressures of the most powerful job on Earth. <\/span><\/p>\nINTERPRETATION #4: Maybe neither the presidency nor the she-devil are real. Maybe Felix is just a slummed-out druggie imagining both. Maybe the she-devil is just a personification of his drug of choice. <\/span><\/p>\nIf so, do the black and purple skies represent his coming-to-terms with his rock-bottom situation? <\/span><\/p>\nDoes the pushing of that button represent a turning-of-a-corner?<\/span><\/p>\nOr does he die of the most mundane of all scenarios: a simple drug overdose? <\/span><\/p>\nAs you can see, my mind whirls with possibilities when a good story is left with just enough ambiguity and just enough clues to fill in the blanks. <\/span><\/p>\nI love that stuff. And I enjoy letting my mind wander with those many prospects. <\/span><\/p>\nAnd yet for all the layers of meaning inherent in a story like this, this one in particular also lacks a certain emotional punch I would have personally needed to give it that 5-star (A+) or even 4.5-star (A) rating. Perhaps it is because the average reader won\u2019t relate to Felix in the story\u2019s first 90%. Sure, we\u2019ve all had our dealings with temptation and greed and falling off our personal wagons, but how many of us can say we\u2019ve been so far down a drug-induced (or other substance\u2026 money, sex, alcohol, etc.) state as to actually have hit a bottom made of rock as solid as this? How many of us have had moments of such depravity so as to warrant ourselves the characters in a tale of such woe as to fairly equate it to the destruction of the world? <\/span><\/p>\nNot too many, I hope. I know I certainly haven\u2019t. Oh, I\u2019ve had my bad days, even my bad <\/span>years<\/span><\/i>, but I\u2019ve never truly been this bad off. I doubt you have either, when you really sit and think about it. <\/span><\/p>\nAnd yet such people and such real-life tales do exist. You may even be among them. <\/span><\/p>\nI respect and appreciate Lindschmidt using such a character to tell his tale—it\u2019s certainly the right choice in this context—but it\u2019s also one that doesn\u2019t quite resonate with the average reader. That means most of us read it without a sense of personal dread (and who among us could ever be in both a position of such power AND be in danger of succumbing to such horrid personal demons?).<\/span><\/p>\n[insert Trump joke here] <\/span><\/p>\n[insert apology here]<\/span><\/p>\n[insert decision to leave generic statements instead,<\/span> allowing readers to draw their own conclusions]<\/span><\/p>\nSo for this simple reason I had to limit my score for this story to a “lowly” A-. <\/span><\/p>\nStill, that ending, though, right? <\/span><\/p>\nBONUS REVIEW: AN OVERVIEW OF THE COMPLETE <\/b>CEMETERY DANCE\u00a0<\/i>#1!<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cThe Hounds of Hell to Pay\u201d is the last<\/span>\u00a0of 12 stories published in <\/span>Cemetery Dance <\/i>#1<\/span>, <\/i>and it would be an egregious omission on my part if I didn\u2019t take an additional moment to take a step back and look at this first of so many beloved issues as a complete publication.<\/span><\/p>\nLet\u2019s start with the elephant in the room…<\/span><\/p>\nThe premier issue of <\/span>Cemetery Dance <\/span><\/i>was\u2026 well\u2026 rough around the edges. And rough in quite a bit of the interior, too, to be honest. <\/span><\/p>\nFirst, there were grammatical mistakes. <\/span><\/p>\nSome of these were obvious, even embarrassing typos like the title of the 2nd story: \u201cA Breathe of Fresh Air\u201d. Others—the occasional run-on sentence or forgotten apostrophe—were less intrusive but still readily apparent. <\/span><\/p>\nNext, there were also formatting mistakes. <\/span><\/p>\nThese ranged from significant problems aligning the text (there were SO many words with an extra space in the middle) to the less egregious choice of going with Left-Aligned text rather than the industry-standard Right-Left Justified. <\/span><\/p>\nFinally, even most of the images had problems. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nSome were so over-saturated with darkness that they came out as little better than a black box merely suggesting the drawings beneath. <\/span><\/p>\nMost of the offenders, however, were simply drawn with poor quality. The cover, for instance, is clearly nothing like what we get these days, but let me assure you that the cover is actually among the <\/span>best<\/span><\/i> of the artwork in this issue. Some of the others, to be quite frank, look like they were drawn by high school students. <\/span><\/p>\nIn a hurry. <\/span><\/p>\nFor a school project they weren\u2019t particularly interested in. <\/span><\/p>\nAll of the above is unfortunately true. <\/span><\/p>\nAnd yet\u2026 <\/span><\/p>\nAnd yet…<\/span><\/p>\nConsidering he was only 23 years old at the time, Richard Chizmar quite clearly made a Herculean effort to put this issue together. He made mistakes, sure, but what new authors doesn\u2019t leave embarrassing typos behind? Answer: none. None new authors. So how many first-time publishers could put together a pristine premier issue with no mistakes of the publishing realm? Again, answer: none. None new publishers. <\/span><\/p>\nLet\u2019s also remember that Chizmar did most of this work pretty much by himself and using a relatively small budget of—if memory from my research is accurate—just $5,000… in borrowed money. <\/span><\/p>\nThe other thing is, Chizmar <\/span>did <\/span><\/i>include artwork with nearly every story\u2026<\/span><\/p>\nHe <\/span>did <\/span><\/i>include border and pop-out text to help define and frame each piece\u2026<\/span><\/p>\nAnd he <\/span>did <\/span><\/i>include not one but FIVE advertisements for other horror magazines\u2026(<\/span>New Blood, Pantophobia, Portents, Witness to the Bizarre, <\/span><\/i>and<\/span> After Hours).<\/span><\/i><\/p>\nHe also advertised<\/span> one horror-themed newsletter (<\/span>Scavenger\u2019s<\/span><\/i>) AND was smart enough to sneak in three separate calls-to-action for readers to subscribe to Cemetery Dance<\/em> itself. <\/span><\/p>\nThere was even a smattering of horror poetry* sprinkled throughout. <\/span><\/p>\n*There were 11 poems in all, in fact. And, sorry, but I won\u2019t be reviewing those\u2026 I\u2019ve never been particularly interested in poetry and it\u2019d be a whopper of a lie if I told you I had the skills to critique them in any intelligent manner. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\nMost impressive, though, was the fact that Chizmar somehow landed both an original story AND an interview with David B. Silva, editor-in-chief of <\/span>The Horror Show<\/span><\/i> magazine and one of Chizmar\u2019s earliest inspirations for taking a shot at launching his own magazine. For any fans of <\/span>
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