. (Story #4 of 11). <\/span><\/p>\nPLOT (with spoilers!):<\/b><\/p>\n
Tony tells our protag (no name given) that they are going at things all wrong, but stops there while he continues killing it on the pinball machine. He adds good English to the ball with a twist of his hips and soon wins himself a free game. <\/span><\/p>\nThe protag has been partners with Tony for eight months and knows he can be annoyingly slow at delivering his opinions. But the protag likes him well enough the rest of the time. Tony\u2019s a a crack-up, a real card. So he waits. <\/span><\/p>\nTony eventually adds that they\u2019ve been thinking the serial killer they\u2019ve been investigating doesn\u2019t have a motive, but now he\u2019s thinking he knows what the killer has been up to all along. <\/span><\/p>\nTony stops again. Protag doesn\u2019t know where Tony is going with all this, but he does know whatever it is, it\u2019s been weighing on him. <\/span><\/p>\nThis isn\u2019t surprising considering all the attention the killer has gotten. Dubbed the \u201cStreetside Strangler\u201d by the media, there had already been four killings in less than three weeks, and the pair had gotten exactly nowhere in their investigation. The victims had no apparent connection. There were two males and tw0 females. Three of the victims were white, one was black. The ages ranged from 19 to 45. And they hadn\u2019t been able to find anything indicating any of them had ever met or interacted with any of the others in any way. The only similarity was the killer\u2019s calling-card: a black knit necktie that had been used to strangle each of them. <\/span><\/p>\nTony and protag had gotten reamed out by their captain just that morning, too. They\u2019d been expecting it. Perhaps even deserving of it. But that didn\u2019t change the frustration Tony was currently feeling. It\u2019s why he steered them towards the bar in the first place. <\/span><\/p>\nTony orders his sixth beer in the past hour. The protag drains the back half of his second and orders a third. Tony pulls out and lights a cigarette with shaking fingers. He eyeballs protag and quips, \u201cWaiting me out. You know me pretty good.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\nThe bartender arrives with their beers, Tony takes his time taking his first, long swallow, and finally gets back to his thoughts on the matter. <\/span><\/p>\nHe comments that the victims all seem to have nothing in common. He lists their seeming randomness. Ages. Genders. Bodies found spread all over town. Then he mentioned their occupations: a bank teller, a plumber, a gas station attendant, and (most recently\u2026 just that morning, in fact) the computer operator who worked for the police department. <\/span><\/p>\nHe doesn’t explain further, but instead asks if protag had ever dealt with the computer operator himself. Protag shakes his head. Tony says he has and that “You’re lucky. She was a real cunt, man. I’m talkin’ cunt with a capital C.”<\/span><\/p>\nHe goes on to explain just how annoying the last victim was. Never doing her job right and acting like she was doing other people the biggest favor when she actually did.<\/span><\/p>\n\u201cSo?\u201d protag asks. <\/span><\/p>\nTony frown. \u201cSo, think about it.\u201d Then he lists the victims\u2019 occupations again and waits. Protag shrugs his shoulders, not getting it. <\/span><\/p>\n\u201cYou\u2019re not tryin\u2019,\u201d Tony said, but yet again refuses to explain any further. <\/span><\/p>\nThe bartender arrives with yet another beer for Tony. Protag does not order another for himself. The bartender goes back to listening to a pair of pretty, young secretaries who have been chatting him up for a while. <\/span><\/p>\nThen Tony goes on a short but muted tirade complaining about various people in the service industry. The kid at the supermarket who won\u2019t answer questions about produce. The sales reps at the department store who hide in corners rather than seek out browsing customers or congregate together laughing it up and respond to direct questions with \u201cWe don\u2019t work in this section.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\nTony is reaching for another cigarette, but is too drunk to manage it so protag helps him light the thing. Tony thanks him and once again gets back to his thoughts. <\/span><\/p>\n\u201cWhat if you got somebody who\u2019s had it up to here?\u201d he says. \u201cSomebody who\u2019s so sick and tired of being treated like a piece of crap by people who are s\u2019posed to be serving <\/span>him<\/span><\/i>.\u201d He goes on to point out that it might be someone whose job it is to be nice to people all day. Another salesman, perhaps, or someone who runs the complaint department somewhere. A priest, maybe, or a shrink, even. <\/span><\/p>\n\u201cOr a cop?\u201d Protag asks. <\/span><\/p>\nTony\u2019s eyes lock on to protag\u2019s. \u201cYeah. Sure. A cop. Why not?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\nProtag notices Tony\u2019s eyes flick to the bartender. His arm begins to raise\u2026 he wants to order yet another beer. But protag catches it and tells him it\u2019s about time they both go home. <\/span><\/p>\nTony elaborates on the possibilities. The killer goes to the bank to clear up a mistake on his statement, but has to deal with a teller that treats him like it\u2019s <\/span>his <\/span><\/i>fault and charges him the overdraft fees anyway. Then a couple days later the killer\u2019s bathtub backs up and the plumber who comes to fix it gives him a hard time. Maybe the gas station attendant is lazy and won\u2019t check under the hood. <\/span><\/p>\nTony stops, finally noticing that his loud voice has been gathering attention. Protag drops money on the table and helps Tony exit the bar. <\/span><\/p>\nThe alley on the way to the car is dark. Tony stumbles more than he walks. Protag is thinking about all the things Tony has said\u2026 and also about the things he DIDN\u2019T say. <\/span><\/p>\nWas Tony sympathizing with the killer? <\/span><\/p>\nWas he confessing knowledge of the killer\u2019s identity? <\/span><\/p>\nSomething else? <\/span><\/p>\nProtag wants to ask him, very badly. He considers asking while Tony fumbles for his car keys. But protag decides not to ask. He loops his necktie around Tony\u2019s throat. \u201cI couldn\u2019t risk it, because there were still too many people who needed taking care of.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\nBut he\u2019s also remember something Tony had said earlier that afternoon, just after getting reamed by their captain. \u201cLet\u2019s you and me go tie one on.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\nProtag ties the loop tight, smiling to himself. Thinking: <\/span>That Tony, he sure is a card. “Tie one on.” I like that. I like that a lot. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\nMY GRADE: B+<\/b><\/p>\n
MY REVIEW:<\/b><\/p>\n
First, the \u201cbad\u201d stuff: <\/span><\/p>\nThe first \u201cproblem\u201d I came across is one I talked about at great length in last month\u2019s post. There are a couple of details that date this story as old and take us out of the moment for a bit. To be fair, Mr. Relling\u2019s pair of faux pas<\/em> in this manner aren\u2019t nearly as bad as Mr. Little\u2019s had been. Still, these things happen, and I enjoy pointing them out if for no other reason than to discuss the folly that authors have to face in writing what may seem to be perfectly safe cultural references that change drastically over time. Mr. Relling had two in this story\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n1) Tony suggests the killer might have met with an annoying gas station attendant who won\u2019t \u201ccheck under the hood.\u201d Sad as it is, this line pulled me right out the story. It\u2019s a perfectly reasonable detail for a story published in the late ’80s, but one that doesn\u2019t ring true today. I got my drivers licence in 1991, and I literally can\u2019t think of a single time in my life that I\u2019ve asked a gas station attendant to check under my hood. Imagining doing it today, I can so easily envision the dumbfounded look on that attendant\u2019s face. It\u2019s simply not done anymore. People are in too much of a hurry, and businesses are under too much pressure to make a profit. It\u2019s a small but sad commentary on our society. <\/span><\/p>\n2) Though I didn\u2019t share it in my plot commentary, Relling never actually uses the word “bar,” preferring instead to use the more antiquated “saloon.” In my mind this would have been a little dated even in the late ’80s. Weren\u2019t saloons exclusive to the Old West? I thought so. But it raises another question in my mind: At what point did \u201csaloons\u201d become \u201cbars\u201d anyway? Maybe I\u2019m wrong about this one and I\u2019m just a little younger\/ more ignorant that I realize. <\/span><\/p>\nIt also seemed to me that there would have been very <\/span>clear <\/span><\/i>connections between the victims. The plumber would have had a record of his recent clients, one of which would have been Mr. Protag. Protag would also be on record as to banking at the same branch that victim #1 worked. Yes, the gas attendant would have no automatic connection (at least, not unless Mr. Protag paid for his gas with a credit card), but with victim #4 working for the police, that makes three out of four having a direct connection to our protag. Suggesting there was no connection between the victims was simply not true, and any decent investigator would have easily discovered those details. Of course, one of the two investigators on the case actually WAS the killer, so I readily admit it would be easy for him to fudge those details. One does assume, however, that this killing spree won\u2019t last too long. Detective or not, Mr. Protag can\u2019t hide those connections forever\u2026 particularly now that his partner is victim #5. <\/span><\/p>\nNow, the good stuff:<\/span><\/p>\nOkay, so Mr. Relling has a couple of issues in his story, all of which have kept it from reaching an A-level story in my humble opinion. But clearly there\u2019s some good stuff too, or that little “+” wouldn\u2019t be next to the B, would it? Let\u2019s look at what good ole William did well\u2026 <\/span><\/p>\nRight out of the gate, I didn\u2019t get the title. I thought it had something to do with the number of victims, but Tony is victim #5, so that didn\u2019t make sense. Fortunately, I live in the modern world. It took me three seconds to do a Google search and discover that the term \u201cFour-in-Hand\u201d (complete with dashes) is the name of the world\u2019s most basic method for tying a necktie. I looked at a YouTube video and confirmed that\u2019s the way I\u2019d been tying my own ties all these years. I just didn\u2019t know what it was called. Okay then, title meaning gleaned: It\u2019s a necktie reference, and because it\u2019s the world\u2019s most used and most basic, it suggests something about the everyman putting on a display of civility\u2026 just like our killer protag has been doing. I like it. Nicely done, William. <\/span><\/p>\nNext was the complex and deceitful way Relling ultimately reveals who the killer is. I had pegged the protag as our man from the very start. (I\u2019m talking first three or four paragraphs here). It was obvious, right? Two major characters\u2026 cops investigating a serial killer but getting nowhere\u2026 Yeah. We knew from the beginning that one of these guys is dying and the other one is going to do the deed. There was simply not enough time to establish anyone else as having the possible motive and opportunity. So this was GOING to be a pretty lame murder mystery (and to be fair, any good mystery needs pages and pages and pages to really deceive the readers\u2026 take it from someone who has only ever guessed one of Dame Christie\u2019s works correctly). The thing is, that would be a BAD thing, right? A reason to score this story even LOWER\u2026 right? Well, the thing is, Relling actually DID get me to guess wrong. Which is pretty impressive for such a short piece. I stuck with my initial supposition all the way through the story\u2026 right up until the part where Tony (finally) suggests the killer might be someone who works with other people and our protag openly suggests it might be a cop. <\/span><\/p>\nBoom. Okay. Now it CAN\u2019T be the protag. He just said it out loud. Besides, there actually IS one other character\u2026 the bartender. So I took a few seconds to think about it and immediately switched my guess to him. Why? Because bartenders are the classic service job\u2026 and because neither Tony nor protag ever <\/span>mentioned<\/span><\/i> the bartender profession as a possibility\u2026 and because protag just outed his own profession as one that matched Tony\u2019s description. That would be TOO obvious, right? So suddenly all arrows which had been pointing toward the protag cop directly in front of us all this time were suddenly pointing to the quiet, unassuming bartender character in the background instead. <\/span><\/p>\nThink about that bartender. He never says a word in the whole story. He just does his job, listening to this blowhard drunk jerk complaining all afternoon. At one point, after giving Tony another beer, he turns back to listen to a pair of pretty young secretaries (who, we assume, may have also been complaining about their own jobs). He\u2019s the perfect fit. <\/span><\/p>\nBut what Mr. Relling has done is that most classic of all mystery devices: the red herring. It WOULD have been fantastic, of course, if the quiet, unassuming bartender turned out to be the killer all along. The final scene could have been a perspective switch. Suddenly we see Tony alone in the bar or meeting the bartender a couple days later while at a traffic stop. He finally speaks for the first time\u2026 something short and witty like, \u201cYou talk too much,\u201d or \u201cNobody likes a whiny bitch.\u201d And then he\u2019d strangle poor Tony. It\u2019s all too easy to imagine this simple, clean ending\u2026. but that\u2019s not what Mr. Relling gives us. Nope, the bartender turns out to just be a regular guy. His perfect slotting-in as the would-be killer is just a decoy. A red herring. And the real killer is the one that really is just a little <\/span>too <\/span><\/i>perfect: the cop who is investigating his own murders. <\/span><\/p>\nAnd for that I give Mr. Relling a nod of my head and a tip of my cap. You got me, Bill. You got me. <\/span><\/p>\n(Please note that I\u2019m not very good at guessing mysteries. I\u2019m relatively new to the genre and I still have a lot to learn). <\/span><\/p>\nAnother positive to this tale is yet another one that at first seemed to be a negative\u2026<\/span><\/p>\nIn the final scene of the story I was struck with a moment that once again almost took me out of the fictional world of the story. Here was my thought process\u2026 <\/span><\/p>\n\u201cUmm\u2026. why is Tony\u2013 <\/span>police detective<\/span><\/i> Tony…grabbing for his car keys while being so drunk he can\u2019t manage to walk straight or light his own cigarette? Is this another example detail that dates this story to the ’80s? Maybe. A little, at least. But mostly I’m thinking, no. Mostly I\u2019m thinking this is another, more subtle, element to his character. He\u2019s an irresponsible drinker, and as a cop that makes him a hypocrite, too. Oh wait, the protag is the killer after all! Oh, I get it! Tony is the next victim for TWO reasons: First, he\u2019s another annoying citizen. Protag even said Tony was annoying back in the opening paragraphs. He\u2019s been seeing it for eight months now and has finally snapped. But second, he\u2019s also a hypocrite cop. He\u2019s probably given ten thousand traffic tickets in his time and arrested a couple hundred drunk drivers. In a way, he <\/span>deserves<\/span><\/i> to die (at least, in the mind of our serial-killer Protagonist).”<\/span><\/p>\nWhat\u2019s really interesting is that Relling never <\/span>actually <\/span><\/i>gives us the Protag\u2019s <\/span>true <\/span><\/i>motivation. Yes, it\u2019s safe to assume Tony had nailed it, though. All those people were in the service industry, and the police station\u2019s computer operator WAS known to be that type of person. And clearly from the very beginning protag thinks of Tony as \u201cannoying\u201d because of how long he drags out his thoughts in conversation (and then Mr. Relling takes the readers through the agonizing slowness of Tony NOT sharing his thoughts until the very end of the story). So he fits the victim description, too. <\/span><\/p>\nBut ask yourself about the following line: \u201cI considered asking him as I came up from behind while he was fumbling with his keys\u2026 But I decided not to as I looped my necktie around his throat. I couldn\u2019t risk it, because there were still too many people who needed taking care of.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\nWoah. So is Tony a victim of the killer\u2019s need to kill annoying people? Or is he just a cop getting too close to figuring out who the killer is? IE: Is our protag killing Tony because he “deserves” it, or is he merely collateral damage? <\/span><\/p>\nIt\u2019s a fun way to end the story. We are left guessing what\u2019s really going on. Coupled with the bartender Red Herring and the general quality of the prose itself, this story was a quick, fun read. I\u2019m looking forward to the next one, which was published just one year later. <\/span><\/p>\nTHE NOT-QUITE-AS-OLD (but still pretty old): \u201cThe Life of the Party\u201d<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cemeterydance.com\/extras\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/CD4.jpg?resize=268%2C350&ssl=1\")
AUTHOR: William Relling Jr. <\/b><\/p>\n
APPEARANCE:<\/b> Cemetery Dance #4: \u00a0Spring, 1990. <\/span><\/i>(Story #5 of 18). <\/span><\/p>\nPLOT (with spoilers!):<\/b><\/p>\n
Rhonda is sitting perfectly still on the edge of the bed, listening to the voices downstairs through the heating duct. <\/span><\/p>\nThey are talking about china patterns and crystal goblets, silverware and dinner parties. Rhonda\u2019s sister Jill tells everyone, \u201cOh, thank you. Thank you all so much.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\nRhonda is sick of Jill and sick of hearing about Jill. Ever since Jill and Darryl had gotten engaged, that\u2019s all anyone has ever talked about. <\/span><\/p>\nSomeone comments about what Darryl\u2019s response might be when he finally arrives and sees all the presents. Someone else makes a joke about there being no less than <\/span>four<\/span><\/i> Toast-R-Ovens, and everyone laughs. Someone else wonders aloud if Rhonda is feeling any better. <\/span><\/p>\n\u201cIt\u2019s a shame she had to\u2026 act like she did, her being the hostess and all\u2026\u201d <\/span><\/p>\nRhonda mocks the voice that said this. She\u2019s angry they don\u2019t have the courage to say what they\u2019re really thinking: that Rhonda is odd\u2026 that Rhonda is unbalanced\u2026 that Rhonda is crazy. That she had had to spend time in the booby hatch while Jill remained the perfect daughter, sister, and soon-to-be wife. That Rhonda will never find a husband of her own. <\/span><\/p>\nRhonda knows she will be the family\u2019s Old Maid. She knows Jill\u2019s friends have probably praised her for asking big sister Rhonda to be the Maid of Honor at the wedding. And Rhonda hates them for this too, mostly because none of them knows what a conniving bitch Baby Jill really is. <\/span><\/p>\nRhonda had met Darryl first. When he was fresh out of medical school, he\u2019d interned at the \u201chospital\u201d where she\u2019d been staying. And even though Rhonda wasn\u2019t one of Darryl\u2019s actual patients, he\u2019d come to see her and talk to her every day, always smiling, always telling her he hoped she\u2019d get well soon. <\/span><\/p>\nDarryl was all Rhonda\u2019s before Jill showed up. \u201cLove at first sight.\u201d That\u2019s what Jill always says whenever she tells the story of when they\u2019d first met. But the truth is that Jill <\/span>stole <\/span><\/i>Darryl from Rhonda. <\/span><\/p>\nSomeone downstairs says they found another package in the corner. Jill says she knows it\u2019s from Rhonda and would prefer to wait until she comes downstairs to open it. She asks to open another one instead, postulating that she wishes her big sister were there with all of them.<\/span><\/p>\n\u201cIt\u2019s her own fault,\u201d someone says. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n\u201cBut she\u2019s usually so sweet,\u201d another voice chimes in. \u201cWhen she\u2019s not being\u2026\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n\u201cI know. But that doesn\u2019t mean I can\u2019t feel bad for her.\u201d Jill\u2019s voice. And the words dig into Rhonda because the very last thing in the world she wants is for <\/span>any <\/span><\/i>of them, but especially <\/span>Jill<\/span><\/i> to feel pity for her. <\/span><\/p>\nThey all think it had been their mother and father\u2019s sudden passing in the car accident which had caused Rhonda to slit her wrists. But the tragedy itself wasn\u2019t the reason at all. \u201cIt was all the simpering expressions of \u2018sorrow\u2019 afterwards. The hypocrites. They\u2019d have driven anyone mad.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n[REVIEWER\u2019S NOTE: At this point in the story I turned the page and my\u00a0<\/i><\/b>eyes went straight to the illustration printed there\u2026 more on this later.]<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n
And they\u2019d all said how <\/span>kind <\/span><\/i>it was for sweet Jill to move back home so Rhonda wouldn\u2019t be alone. But Jill was a hypocrite too. She\u2019d moved away in the first place, and now she was going to move away again. Leave Rhonda all alone so she could be with Darryl. <\/span><\/p>\nRhonda thinks of all those women downstairs, all those hypocrites and whispers to herself: <\/span>May you all burn in hell. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\nSuddenly Rhonda feels a flush of satisfaction, remembering something quite valuable she had managed to learn about herself in the hospital. She\u2019d learned that the reason she had tried to kill herself was because she\u2019d turned her rage in the wrong direction. She\u2019d turned it inward. The doctors had told her that was wrong. She couldn\u2019t let the bad feelings build up inside like that. She needed to learn to turn them outward. <\/span><\/p>\nOutward. <\/span><\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cemeterydance.com\/extras\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/CD2.jpg?resize=266%2C350&ssl=1\")
AUTHOR:<\/b>