{"id":13645,"date":"2019-10-16T07:00:56","date_gmt":"2019-10-16T11:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cemeterydance.com\/extras\/?p=13645"},"modified":"2019-10-22T20:38:16","modified_gmt":"2019-10-23T00:38:16","slug":"review-how-to-survive-horror-movie-seth-grahame-smith","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cemeterydance.com\/extras\/review-how-to-survive-horror-movie-seth-grahame-smith\/","title":{"rendered":"Review: How to Survive a Horror Movie by Seth Grahame-Smith"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"13646\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.cemeterydance.com\/extras\/review-how-to-survive-horror-movie-seth-grahame-smith\/survive\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cemeterydance.com\/extras\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/survive.jpg?fit=357%2C499&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"357,499\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"survive\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cemeterydance.com\/extras\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/survive.jpg?fit=357%2C499&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-13646\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cemeterydance.com\/extras\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/survive-250x350.jpg?resize=250%2C350\" alt=\"Book cover of How to Survive a Horror Move by Seth Grahame-Smith\" width=\"250\" height=\"350\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cemeterydance.com\/extras\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/survive.jpg?resize=250%2C350&amp;ssl=1 250w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cemeterydance.com\/extras\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/survive.jpg?w=357&amp;ssl=1 357w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 250px) 85vw, 250px\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/How-Survive-Horror-Movie-Skills\/dp\/1683691466\/ref=as_li_ss_tl?_encoding=UTF8&amp;qid=1571191753&amp;sr=1-1&amp;linkCode=ll1&amp;tag=bhseo-20&amp;linkId=10901ab16d3207cc3845266c6bde5642&amp;language=en_US\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><em>How to Survive a Horror Movie\u00a0<\/em>by Seth Grahame-Smith<\/a><br \/>\n<\/strong><strong>Quirk Books (September 2019)<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>176 pages; $11.99 paperback; $9.99 e-book<br \/>\n<\/strong><strong>Reviewed by\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.twitter.com\/BluGilliand\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Blu Gilliand<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s the middle of October, just a couple of weeks away from Halloween as I write this, and I find myself (like, doubtless, many of you) in the midst of a horror movie marathon leading into my favorite holiday. Most of what I watch this time of year are classics that I&#8217;ve seen a time or two (or ten) before, and &#8212; again, I suspect, like many of you &#8212; I find myself constantly second-guessing the actions of the characters on the screen.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t do that!&#8221; I yell at the group as someone suggests they split up.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t go in there!&#8221; I cajole the young girl approaching the dark camp cabin.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t touch that!&#8221; I command the curious kid reaching for the cursed doll.<\/p>\n<p>They never listen.<\/p>\n<p>Seth Grahame-Smith feels my pain. He feels it so acutely, in fact, that he (with a helping hand from the good people at Quirk Books) has expanded his 2007 survival guide,\u00a0<em>How to Survive a Horror Movie,\u00a0<\/em>to help hapless horror movie characters navigate the deadly mazes of barbaric zombies, Babadooks and bad CGI leading them to a grisly death.<\/p>\n<p>The book opens with an introduction by the late Wes Craven (reprinted from the original edition) which shows off the sense of humor that simmered beneath Craven&#8217;s best work&#8212;the original\u00a0<em>Scream<\/em> in particular. It&#8217;s that humor that allows Craven (and Grahame-Smith) to satirize the horror genre, to poke at its weaknesses, without degrading it.<\/p>\n<p>Grahame-Smith&#8217;s approach is to take topics near and dear to lovers of horror films&#8212;&#8220;What to Do if Your Corn Has Children in It&#8221; or &#8220;How to Survive a Summer Vacation&#8221; for example&#8212;and provide those much-needed answers. Some are so common that you can&#8217;t help but laugh, such as the first survival tip for &#8220;What to Do When an Evil Vehicle Wants You Dead,&#8221; which is &#8220;If you&#8217;re in the vehicle, get the hell out.&#8221; The author has all the bases covered, from alien invasions to high school to witches to Satan his own badself.<\/p>\n<p>There are also some great lists spread throughout the book, such as &#8220;Poor Career Choices for Horror Movie Characters&#8221; (Gravedigger and Hooker, among others); &#8220;Signs That You&#8217;re in a Sequel&#8221; (Jamie Lee Curtis is your mother, or You&#8217;re in 3-D); and &#8220;10 Things to Never, Ever Put in a Child&#8217;s Room&#8221; (windows, doors and closets are frowned upon).<\/p>\n<p><em>How to Survive a Horror Movie<\/em> is the perfect coffee table\/nightstand (do people still have those?) book for the horror fan who still maintains a sense of humor about horror. These are all things we&#8217;ve said or thought during the upteenth viewing of that favorite slasher flick or creature feature, but it takes a writer of Seth Grahame-Green&#8217;s talent to put it together in a relentlessly entertaining package such as this. Do yourself a favor and grab a copy&#8230;it just might save your life&#8230;.or it might make you laugh yourself&#8230;.to death&#8230;..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to Survive a Horror Movie\u00a0by Seth Grahame-Smith Quirk Books (September 2019) 176 pages; $11.99 paperback; $9.99 e-book Reviewed by\u00a0Blu Gilliand It&#8217;s the middle of October, just a couple of weeks away from Halloween as I write this, and I find myself (like, doubtless, many of you) in the midst of a horror movie marathon &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cemeterydance.com\/extras\/review-how-to-survive-horror-movie-seth-grahame-smith\/\" class=\"more-link button bg-gold white\">Continue Reading!<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Review: How to Survive a Horror Movie by Seth Grahame-Smith&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[80],"tags":[301,1888,1297,79,1889],"class_list":["post-13645","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-blu-gilliand","tag-how-to-survive-a-horror-movie","tag-quirk-books","tag-reviews","tag-seth-grahame-smith"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - 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