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Haunted Attractions with your Other Father\u00a0<\/i><\/a>by Norman Prentiss is the sequel to his\u00a0Odd Adventures with your Other Father<\/a>,\u00a0<\/i>and continues the horror\/fantasy road trip adventures of Jack and Shawn as they fight monsters and homophobia in the \u201980s. Cemetery Dance is proud to publish this new novel (with an e-book version now on sale at Amazon for 0.99!<\/a>), and to celebrate we\u2019re serializing a new novella featuring the characters from the books!<\/p>\n When we last saw Jack and Shawn<\/a>, they joined another couple on a \u201cDinosaur Safari\u201d tour, their guide Troy leading them downriver. After finding themselves on a strange beach, the group is attacked by a large dinosaur\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n In an amazing moment of spontaneous choreography, Jack and Troy dove out of the way in opposite directions.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n They\u2019d noticed the placement of the lizard\u2019s eyes, bulbous on either side of its head, and with a ridged fin between. The creature would have trouble with depth perception, and with following quick movements.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n It stumbled, front feet digging into the sand.\u00a0 From their side positions, Jack and Troy attacked with the oars, slapping and poking at the eyes.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n On Troy\u2019s side, the eye burst and bled black jelly.\u00a0 Troy swung again, and his wooden oar snapped in two.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Jack was jumping and swinging, trying to produce a similar effect on his side. Trouble was, since he\u2019d become the only attacker the lizard could <\/span>see, <\/span><\/i>he now gained the beast\u2019s full attention. Its head turned, massive jaws snapping, and as Jack dodged away from the bite, he moved within range of the front leg.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Though Jack dodged the talon\u2019s swipe, the weight of the lizard leg knocked him off balance. He fell, and the creature rolled toward him, pinning him to the ground.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Strangely, the creature didn\u2019t seem to know how to use its leg.\u00a0 It swatted at Jack, scraping foot pads against the life jacket covering his torso, but it didn\u2019t dig in with the claws.\u00a0 Perhaps it reserved legs for walking and climbing, dealing damage with the jaws and teeth.\u00a0 The head was at an awkward angle now, bending towards Jack\u2019s pinned body but unable to reach.<\/span><\/p>\n I bolted from my hiding place, determined to pull Jack out from under the beast. I wasn\u2019t sure what would happen after that, but I quickly found myself leaning over him, hooking my arms beneath his shoulders and giving a solid yank.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n There was an awful squishiness of the lizard\u2019s underbelly where it had rolled over Jack, and his legs came free easily.\u00a0 From my vantage point, I had studied the angle of the creature\u2019s head, its range of motion, and I quickly pulled Jack into a bite-free zone.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n A snap and a crunch sounded, a grinding like teeth on bone.<\/span><\/p>\n Wood, actually.\u00a0 The lizard had bitten into Jack\u2019s oar, and was chomping it into splinters.<\/span><\/p>\n Now what?<\/span><\/p>\n Jack crab-walked backwards on the ground, then I helped him into a standing position.\u00a0 The lizard\u2019s bulbous eye blinked then pivoted towards us.<\/span><\/p>\n The mouth barely opened, a rapid almost imperceptible movement, then the long red tongue shot out in our direction.\u00a0 I was the closest, directly in the line of fire, and the snake-like muscle brushed above my wrist, swept behind my back then caught my opposite arm on the way around.\u00a0 An awful earthy smell rose from sticky wet bumps on the tongue, and I felt a warm sludge dragging across the exposed skin above my wrist.\u00a0 The tongue tightened, simulating a python hug, and the muscle-grip was surprisingly strong.\u00a0 It pulled me towards the mouth, which opened in menacing anticipation.<\/span><\/p>\n Jack grabbed the collar of my shirt, reached one hand beneath the ropy slime of the tongue, and began a bizarre tug-o-war with me as the unwitting prize. \u00a0 I tried pulling at the tongue, too; repulsive and shiny red, it squeezed even tighter in response, trying to crush me as it drew me closer.<\/span><\/p>\n I felt Jack\u2019s strength waning, and I slid closer to the monster\u2019s head.<\/span><\/p>\n Meanwhile, on the other side of the lizard, Troy attempted his own style of attack.<\/span><\/p>\n The beast\u2019s huge body blocked our view of his efforts, but I heard an irregular scratching or tapping or kicking.\u00a0 Then I heard muffled grunts, as if Troy had also fallen beneath the lizard\u2019s torso and was being smothered.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The grunts got louder.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n And…higher?<\/span><\/p>\n An awful smell like skunk spray and dog\u2019s vomit filled the air. The tongue pulled with renewed force as the lizard\u2019s head twisted up and down, side to side. Jack lost his grip, and I fell to the ground, the snaky tongue still wrapped around me. I was flat on my back, feet out, hoping to kick at the jaws in futile protest before they clamped down on me.<\/span><\/p>\n I didn\u2019t want those slavering reptile jaws to be the last thing I saw. I twisted around to look at Jack, hoping to share an intimate good-bye glance.<\/span><\/p>\n Jack\u2019s attention was focused fully on the giant lizard.<\/span><\/p>\n More accurately, on the man who was bronco-riding the giant lizard.<\/span><\/p>\n The muffled grunts I\u2019d heard were those of a breathless mountain climber; the scuffle and kicks were our guide\u2019s efforts to find hand- and foot-holds in the lizard\u2019s rocky hide.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n He held both pieces of his snapped oar, one of them still in the lizard\u2019s burst eye socket, and the other digging beneath scale plates.\u00a0 He stabbed at the throat, tried to find a soft patch in the hide, all the while keeping his balance on the neck as the lizard\u2019s head bucked from one extreme to another.<\/span><\/p>\n Troy pushed and wriggled the stick in the eye socket, trying to scramble the creature\u2019s brain.<\/span><\/p>\n (I had a vague memory that some dinosaurs had brains in their tail instead of their head, but I wasn\u2019t planning to yell out that bit of trivia.)<\/span><\/p>\n With the other spear-spike piece of oar, Troy continued to pry up scales and poke and stab beneath them.\u00a0 He grunted with each attack, screamed as the beast\u2019s head swung back and forth, trying to shake him off.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Black jelly and blood oozed from head and neck wounds, more of that this rotten odor filled the air, and the lizard\u2019s flailing movements slowly began to weaken.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The tongue was still wrapped around me.\u00a0 Even in the beast\u2019s weakened state, I still should have felt the tug and drag towards its menacing jaws.<\/span><\/p>\n That\u2019s when I realized why I hadn\u2019t been moving. Troy\u2019s attack had startled the lizard into biting off its own tongue.\u00a0 The end of that long muscle snaked away from me and ended in a curled clump, dark blood oozing into the sand.<\/span><\/p>\n The other couple ran out from the shelter, each holding a large branch they\u2019d snapped off a tree. It was now safe for them to join the attack, since it was clear Troy had already won. The lizard\u2019s head had fallen still to the ground, and they battered at it with their branches while Troy continued to grind the oar deeper into the dying beast\u2019s eye.<\/span><\/p>\n Instead of beating a dead lizard, Jack tended to me.\u00a0 He helped me from the ground, then grabbed the sticky tongue and walked around me twice, unwrapping it.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I appreciated the attention. A genuine sign of affection, and also maybe an apology for ogling Troy\u2019s bare-chested heroics as I was about to, you know, get eaten.<\/span><\/p>\n Honestly, Troy had been amazing. He had pretty much saved all our lives — and racked up some he-man \u201cstyle points\u201d in the process.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Which meant that he\u2019d earned what he did next. Still astride the imposing lizard he\u2019d killed, he lifted his arms high in the air, lizard blood and black eye-jelly smeared across his chest and face like war paint, Troy let out the loudest Tarzan-style yodel I\u2019ve ever heard.\u00a0 It echoed in our small canyon, and I\u2019m sure it felt really satisfying for him. Primal, even.<\/span><\/p>\n Like I said, he earned that yell. That\u2019s not to say it wasn\u2019t stupid.<\/span><\/p>\n #<\/span><\/p>\n The animal was clearly dead, but our travelling companions continued to batter their sticks at the lizard\u2019s head.\u00a0 Barb swung with one arm, and used the opposite hand to pinch her nose closed.\u00a0 At some point I was hoping they\u2019d both realize that their post-mortem attacks encouraged more of the beast\u2019s foul odors to rise, like dust raised from a beaten carpet.<\/span><\/p>\n Troy climbed down from his perch, his face and torso still painted with red and black smears.\u00a0 Instead of a wet shine, those smears had a glossy, sticky finish.\u00a0 As he moved closer, it became obvious that the lizard\u2019s stink spray originated in its body fluids — now mixed with Troy\u2019s nervous, adrenaline-fueled sweat.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThanks for saving us,\u201d I said, backing up a few steps.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYeah, that was amazing.\u201d\u00a0 Barb had dropped her stick weapon, but her fingers remained pinched over her nose, so her words emerged in a honking monotone. \u201cYou were like Tarzan up there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cTroy-zan,\u201d her boyfriend corrected.<\/span><\/p>\n Troy smiled.\u00a0 Because, well, those comments practically invited an encore.\u00a0 He thumped his fists on his pecs to add vibrato to the renewed jungle yell.<\/span><\/p>\n When he stopped chest-thumping, stopped the Weissmuller-style yodel, the performance continued to echo in the canyon.\u00a0 The echo was almost as loud as the initial cry, and it ran several cycles before it began to fade.<\/span><\/p>\n It struck me that Barb\u2019s shouting had probably alerted the Stink Lizard to our presence.\u00a0 What would Troy-zan\u2019s much louder cry summon to attack us?\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Distant trees began to sway in the breezeless jungle.\u00a0 Brittle wood snapped like firecrackers.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n A path took shape where there had been no path.\u00a0 The most direct root towards us.<\/span><\/p>\n Finally, the roar — a cacophonous trumpeting, the world\u2019s worst orchestra trying to tune its instruments.\u00a0 And footsteps that signaled an animal strong enough to uproot trees, pry its massive bulk between them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n It had to be the King of them all. Once it broke through the tree line, there\u2019d be nothing to slow its massive strides.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Our guide, Troy-zan the Brave, was the first to dart toward the opposite end of the tiny beach, with another line of trees stretching into a separate stretch of jungle.\u00a0 His plan made sense, actually:\u00a0 if we stayed out of the new lizard\u2019s sight, it might be distracted by the large, freshly killed corpse we left behind.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Here\u2019s hoping the Stink Lizard\u2019s smell didn\u2019t have the same repellant effect on its contemporaries.<\/span><\/p>\n Kenneth ran well ahead of Barb, not lingering to protect her as he had previously. Jack was more chivalrous, running alongside me even though his legs were longer and he could have made it to safety faster.<\/span><\/p>\n Heavy footsteps slammed against the earth, and more trees splintered.<\/span><\/p>\n As we raced across rust-red sand, Jack held my elbow to urge me forward.\u00a0 It was a respectful, masculine guidance — basically maintaining the fiction that we were two college guys traveling together, rather than a romantic couple.\u00a0 Jack usually didn\u2019t care what others thought; instead, his behavior respected my own sense of discretion.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n In our current desperation, I\u2019d have forgiven him if he picked me up and carried me.<\/span><\/p>\n The heavy footsteps paused, and I heard the snap of closer branches, the rustle of heavy leaves, the straining of roots being pulled against rock and hardened soil. I imagined the massive head of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, bent low and battering between two trees to force itself onto the beach.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t look,\u201d Jack said. His hand still brushed against my elbow, guiding me forward.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ahead of us, Troy had already made it to the jungle sanctuary. Kenneth crossed into leafy shadows, and Barb was a few steps away from the tree line.\u00a0 They\u2019d made it, and we weren\u2019t that far behind.<\/span><\/p>\n I couldn\u2019t help myself. I turned my head to look.<\/span><\/p>\n #<\/span><\/p>\n Turning my head, running at the same time, Jack\u2019s hand urging me forward — and the sight of that terrifying dinosaur smashing through, one leg pawing at the air, green-scaled thigh as thick as the tree trunk it was pushing aside, the ridged yellow underbelly, those tiny useless arms I always thought were comical, but nothing funny about the wide steam-shovel jaw, snapping and frothing, and a cold lizard eye as big as a traffic light staring right at me — and I spun like a top, my legs braiding.<\/span><\/p>\n Yeah, I fell.<\/span><\/p>\n Jack\u2019s momentum was carrying him forward, but he stopped.\u00a0 I estimated the steps I\u2019d need to reach the sheltering trees.\u00a0 About a dozen, but also factoring in the effort of lifting myself from the ground, the very real possibility that I\u2019d broken a leg or sprained an ankle, making each step a slow, painful burden.\u00a0 Jack would be a fool to come back for me, to try to drag or carry me across the tree line.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I didn\u2019t shout <\/span>Save yourself,<\/span><\/i> but I thought it.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Three quick strides and the Tyrannosaurus would reach me.\u00a0 I was already done for.<\/span><\/p>\n Step one, an effortless bounding over the beast Troy had killed.<\/span><\/p>\n The second step, the lizard seeming bigger the closer it got. As tall as a trailer-home turned on its end, or a tornado-flipped eighteen-wheeler sailing toward oncoming traffic.<\/span><\/p>\n Its head lowered closer to the ground, positioned for snapping distance after the next step. I felt the warm breeze of air displaced by its enormous bulk, the hot steam of breath from lizard nostrils. It made me think of a dragon legends.<\/span><\/p>\nTHE CANYON OF TERRIBLE LIZARDS, PART 6
\n<\/b>(A HAUNTED ATTRACTION WITH YOUR OTHER FATHER)<\/span>
\nBY NORMAN PRENTISS<\/span><\/h4>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cemeterydance.com\/extras\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/caveman_dino.jpg?resize=853%2C462&ssl=1\")
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And I also completed a year-long flash fiction project, <\/span>